Rumors are not my forte’. I hear something, I either, one, difuse the bomb from my end of the string, or go directly to whom the rumor is about and ask them indirectly. I normally call rumors “getting it from the horse’s ass” because getting it from the horse’s mouth, is, getting the truth. Getting it [...]
Archive for July, 2008
The Albino Black Spider
Posted in Office Antics, tagged fabrication, luck, rumors, truth on July 30, 2008 | 1 Comment »
Excremental Affairs
Posted in Office Antics, tagged adult diapers, bowel movements, breaks, relaxing on July 29, 2008 | 1 Comment »
We are so privileged, to have our company pay for, two fifteen minute breaks, during the day. At this time, you may rise, dispose of any waste, and regain fuel, as you must endure another two to three more hours, then do it all over again.
A fifteen minute break, is basically, move as quickly as you can. [...]
I’d Like to Displace a Vowel.
Posted in Office Antics, tagged "R", consonents, language, phonetics, vowel on July 28, 2008 | 1 Comment »
I talked to a woman today who, literally, made my ears hurt.
What was worse, she had this Russian accent, spoke 50miles a minute, and I understood three out of ten words she was telling me. It sounded something like this “askfjas;dklfasjdfkjCheeseburgeraskdjfhas;d askdjf;askldfjasDucksauceljalksdfj;asldfElmer Fuddyakjklajsdl;fkjas” Imagine that, plus a sound similar to nails on a chalkboard. My ears, [...]
Olfactory Gland Overload
Posted in Office Antics, tagged cologne, flatulence, hand sanitizer, office smells, olfactory glands on July 27, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Some days, the office I work in reminds me of public transportation. So many different people, so many interesting smells.
The most common one I smell all the time, now, is scented hand sanitizer. They use to have that subtle odor to it, now it’s perfumed, Lavender or something. For those who are not knowledgeable about [...]
Supervisor This!
Posted in Office Antics, tagged bad call, long call, repeat, Sucker, supervisor on July 26, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
The word “Supervisor” can solve anything, it seems like. For some, a cringe when you hear “I want to speak to your supervisor” and for others, its a Godsent. To me, my battle has been won when someone asks “Can I speak to your supervisor?” Sure, go right ahead. Sucker!
I always figure, when this does [...]
Better Left at The Office
Posted in Office Antics, tagged friends, signs, dating, family, well behaved on July 25, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
“I’ll always be in love with my initial impression of you.”
I always think of that when I am at work. The majority of the time, I’m watching, a lot of mighty fine impressions. There are some people, I know, who are behaving their true selves. Like the ones that eat at their desk and wipe [...]
Last Call!
Posted in Office Antics, tagged going home, hold music, keys, last call, minute, never fails, patience, supervisor, time on July 24, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
You might as well put that bag down, place those keys in your pocket, and have a seat. You’re going to be here for a while.
Costumer Disservice
Posted in Office Antics, tagged believable, costumer, fun, humor, service, sex, stereotypes on July 23, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
No matter what kind of customer field you work in, either it be retail, over the phone, or shoveling manure on a ranch, which, I’m sure has less manure then my current job, you’re always going to have customers. To ask the question, “Have you ever been in customer service?” is like asking if you’ve [...]
Forward This!
Posted in Office Antics, tagged Forward, Forwards, friends, guilt trip, inbox, junk mail, promises, twenty on July 22, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I hate forwards.
I love opening a message, this, cute, fuzzy warm feeling you get inside because someone thought of you, and you scroll down, continue to read, and then, there it is, “Forward this to ten people, and you’ll have luck. Don’t forward this, and this cute puppy dog gets it.”
I have learned to notice [...]
Is it Over Yet?
Posted in Office Antics, tagged calls, coffee, costumer, email, first call, humor, inbox, profiling on July 21, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
No matter where you are in the United States, and no matter what you do in costumer service, you can always relate to stereotypes. Most, not all people, fall into the stereotypes. I talk to people all over the United States and Canada, so I’ve learned a thing or two.
Mornings are the worst time to talk to [...]
